Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
