Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just want to make out with him forever
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
