Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
