i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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