I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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