so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
