OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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