Your tits are I can't wait for
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
