I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
