He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
