The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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