remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize