Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
