Do you still have your period?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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