Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I stole a fireplace last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
