If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
