I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
