Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
