you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
