You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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