just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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