Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
