Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
