i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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