Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just found puke in my bra..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
