it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
