okay pat passed out under dana's car
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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