He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
try to milk me bitch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
