Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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