i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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