omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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