Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
