GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
