I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
