So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
