And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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