Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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