If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
