Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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