Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's just like the Real World with babies
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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