so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
