Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Are we still banned from the library?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
