this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
