I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
