Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Soap is not a condiment
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We're not piercing ourselves today.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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