I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The convent might be a nice break from real life
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
