I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
