pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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