I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
