You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
