You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
