i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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