Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
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Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.