I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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