No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
