My friends, they love my intelligence
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
